Room for Today
by denise1
Summary: A bit of an AU, Sam and Jack 'icky het' warning, After Allegiance, they get tired of leaving it in the room


Room for Today

By

Denise

Sam watched Teal'c and Rak'nor lead Bra'tac away, to allow the aged warrior to clean up and recover from his trials, she presumed. She had to admit; she was more than a little relieved to see him alive. She truly and honestly liked the man, his integrity and old world style honor making him a trusted ally. She tried not to think what it would be like in a couple of years when his symbiote matured, an event that would lead to his death.

"Carter." She turned to face O'Neill.

"Sir?"

"Put away your toys. I'm gonna see if we can blow this place or if we have to hang around and baby-sit," he ordered, rolling his eyes.

"Yes, sir," she answered to his back as he turned and walked away. This hadn't been an easy mission for him, she knew. Not just dealing with an invisible enemy, but also having to mediate between the Tok'ra and Jaffa. She knew he didn't like the Tok'ra on the best of days, and even less since Kanan. More than once, she quite selfishly wished his blending with Kanan had been a better one. Maybe then he'd understand better. As it was, it looked to have just made things worse. Not only with him, but also between the two of them.

On duty they were fine. Off duty…there wasn't an off duty anymore. She knew that if he socialized with anyone, it was just Teal'c, usually leaving her and Jonas to their own devices.

Shaking her head, she walked towards the device. There was nothing she could do about it. Her dad and Malek had both disappeared. "Typical," she muttered. "Nothing makes men disappear faster than the words 'clean up'."

Bending over, she grabbed the smallest piece, knowing that she'd have to recruit some muscle to completely put all the components away. Standing up she paused, gasping as a shaft of pain tore through her side. Figuring she pulled a muscle, she stretched a bit, hoping to alleviate the pain.

When it didn't go away, she set down the piece of equipment, snaking her left hand under the layers of clothing, searching for something poking her or some sign of a muscle spasm.

Her heart lurched when her fingers encountered the last thing she expected. She slowly drew out her hand and stared in horror at the bright red blood coating her fingertips.

She looked around, scanning the milling crowd for a familiar face. Teal'c and Jack were not in sight, but she did see Janet several yards away, tending to one of Major Pierce's men.

Sam walked over to her, each step making her gasp in pain. She could feel the ticklish trickle of blood running down her leg and a stinging burn spreading through her belly. Now that she knew it was there, it hurt like the devil. "Janet?" she said, reaching her friend's side.

The doctor looked up distractedly. "Sam, hi."

"Major? Are you ok?" the officer asked, frowning a bit.

"Umm…no. Janet…I think I…" The doctor turned and Sam held up her bloody hand. "I think I've been shot," Sam said, her knees suddenly giving out from under her. The officer sprung forward, trying to catch her before she hit the ground. Hands fumbled at her clothes and she didn't fight them, concentrating solely on staying conscious. The clearing was starting to spin, fading in and out of focus.

"Sam? Sam? Come on, stay with me," Janet ordered, her voice abrupt.

Sam tried to respond, then simply closed her eyes and let the blackness take her.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Jack walked back into the campsite, unable to hide a sigh of relief. Jacob and the rest of the Tok'ra were actually very eager to leave the Alpha Site and move onto their new base. Jack figured there were maybe a half dozen or so survivors that were still too wounded to move with the rest of the Tok'ra. One advantage, with their symbiotes to help them, Fraiser and her crew wouldn't have to hang around too long, maybe a few days. Jack figured he'd call Hammond, get a relief team sent to keep the peace, and keep Fraiser company, and then go home.

A year ago, hell six months ago, he would have felt that it was his duty to stay at the Alpha Site to monitor the situation. But not any more. Right now all he wanted was to go home and find some peace and quiet.

He knew Teal'c's renegade Jaffa all meant well but…after six years of their brethren trying, and sometimes succeeding, in killing him, being surrounded by so many warriors made his skin crawl.

He stopped, frowning at all the equipment still piled in the clearing. He glanced at his watch. "Damnit," he cursed under his breath. Carter should have had all the stuff stowed by now. "Where the hell is Carter?" he asked of one of the milling Jaffa. The man frowned, shaking his head. "Woman, dressed like me...Blond, skinny thing….aah never mind." Jack shook his head and walked away, not in the mood to play pantomime with a Jaffa. He grabbed for his radio, not in the mood to search the camp for his missing and derelict teammate. "Carter?" he called into the radio.

"O'Neill." The response came almost immediately, unfortunately it wasn't quite the response he'd been waiting for.

"You seen Carter?"

"I have not."

"I'm gonna contact Hammond, get a relief team on its way so we can go home. I need you to stow Carter's equipment. And if you see her, grab her. I am not spending another night here."

"Understood."

Sighing, Jack searched the immediate area, this time looking for Jacob, thinking maybe that he'd pulled her away for a little father/daughter talk. That wouldn't have been unreasonable, given the man's talkative state of late.

Teal'c jogged into the clearing and soon had several of the Jaffa working on putting the equipment away. There was still no sign of Carter, which had Jack puzzled. She rarely disappeared for long, especially off world. And the woman also had a bit of a second sense when it came to people playing with her stuff.

"O'Neill!" Teal'c ran towards him. He reached his side in a few seconds and simply held out his hand, revealing a scrap of fatigues, soaked in semi-dry blood. "Tre'nak reports that a female Tau'ri was injured."

"Crap," Jack muttered, hurrying towards the primitive infirmary they'd set up, Teal'c hot on his heels. She'd been shot? When the hell had she been shot? She'd been fine when he'd last seen her, calmly handing him the GDO and standing at his side while Bra'tac had made his speech.

He walked into the infirmary, scanning the room for a familiar auburn or blond head.

"Colonel. I was just going to come looking for you." Janet stepped into view, wiping her hands off on a towel.

"Doc. Where's Carter?"

"She's ok, sir. She was shot in the side. I've got the bleeding under control and she's stable for now."

"For now?" Jack asked, alarmed.

"The bullet's still in there, and she's lost a lot of blood. That's why I was looking for you. We need to get her back to the SGC."

"Then go."

"Last I knew, sir, the gate was still off limits," she reminded.

Jack shook his head. "Not with the Ashrak dead. Our only concern right now is to keep the address from the Tok'ra. Get her and anyone else you need to transport ready to go. I'll go talk to Hammond. Pierce can keep an eye on things for a little while. Teal'c, go find Jacob. He needs to know."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Jack sat in the briefing room, doodling on the pad in an effort to quietly alleviate the nervous energy he was feeling. It hadn't taken them long to get Hammond's permission and to get Carter and a couple more of the more seriously injured Tok'ra back through the gate to Earth. Fraiser swept them off to the infirmary, leaving Jack, Teal'c and Jacob nothing else to do but wait.

No one had said anything, but no one had to. Jack could see the accusation and disappointment in their eyes. How the hell had he NOT known that she was hurt? Was he really that insensitive? Or had he just not been paying attention?

"Doctor?" He heard Hammond say.

He jerked his head up, fighting the urge to jump out of the chair. "Doc?"

"She's fine, sirs. The bullet nicked the renal vein and she lost a lot of blood, but Doctor Warner has repaired the damage. She'll be out of commission for a few weeks, but should make a full recovery."

There was an almost audible sigh of relief in the room. "Did she say anything about how it happened?" Jack asked.

Janet shook her head. "No, sir. Honestly, I don't think she even realized she'd been shot at first." She pulled out a small plastic bag. "I'm no ballistics expert but it looks like a ricochet to me. Which would explain why the damage wasn't as severe as it could have been, given the caliber of the round." Hammond took the bag, examining the misshapen bit of metal.

"You said there was at least one other case of friendly fire?" the general asked.

Jack nodded. "Yes, sir." He held out his hand and took the bullet from Hammond.

"You get a hundred people together and start shooting, it happens," Jacob said. "Doctor, if you don't mind, I think Selmac can lend a hand. You still have Sam's healing device here, right?"

"Of course but…"

"Healing the wound before you removed the bullet would have just caused more trouble. If we heal it now, Sam can be up and about in a couple of days."

"General?" She looked to Hammond for permission.

"Of course." Janet led Jacob from the room. "SG- 3 and 4 will leave for the Alpha Site within the hour, Colonel. I think yours and Teal'c's reports are sufficient for the time being. We'll get Major Carter's as soon as she's able."

"Yes, sir," Jack answered quietly, staring at the bullet in his hand.

"Friendly fire happens, Colonel. More often then you might think," the older man said. "SG-1 is on downtime until Major Carter can return to duty. Go home, relax, I think you've earned it."

The general stood up and Jack automatically got to his feet, still staring at the bullet. He vaguely heard the door close.

"O'Neill? What is wrong?"

"Nothing," Jack said quietly, tossing the little plastic bag down on the table.

"O'Neill?"

Jack ignored him, turning on his heel and stalking out of the room.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sam slowly opened her eyes, blinking to clear her vision. "Hey sleepyhead." She turned her head, frowning at the sight of Jacob.

"Dad?" Her voice sounded weak and scratchy.

"Yeah, kiddo. How ya feel?" He leaned forward in his chair, folding a newspaper in his lap.

She paused, taking internal inventory. "Tired," she said, fighting to keep her eyes open.

"I'm not surprised. You've had a rough day."

"Huh?"

"Sam, you remember what happened on the planet?"

She stared at him for a second then her hand strayed to her side. "I got shot," she whispered.

"Yeah. Friendly fire unless you guys have started arming the Jaffa. Selmac gave Doctor Fraiser a helping hand," he said to her frown as she explored the wound and found a lack of bandages. She tried to push herself up in the bed, and stopped, gasping a bit. "Take it easy." He put a restraining hand on her shoulder. "Damage it fixes, abused nerves it doesn't. You're going to be a little sore for a while."

"Really?" she asked sardonically. "Where is everybody?"

"Teal'c and Jonas just left, Jack went home. And I'm going to need to go pretty soon too," he said regretfully. "We need to get the Tok'ra to a new home. And since I'm the only one that knows how to get back to the Alpha Site…"

"You need to go," she said softly.

"Yeah." He took one hand in his and stroked her hair with his other. "I wish I could stay."

"That's ok."

"As soon as we get settled in a new base, I'll come back. Maybe for a long weekend," he promised.

"That'd be fun," she said.

He stood up and bent over, planting a kiss on her forehead. "I'll see ya in a few days." He gave her hand a reassuring squeeze and left the room. Surrendering to the drugs, she closed her eyes and fell back asleep.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Teal'c surfaced from his meditation, hearing the figure on the bed sigh and stir. "Major Carter," he said softly, not wanting to wake her unnecessarily.

"Teal'c." She opened her eyes, clearly trying to clear her sleep fuddled mind. "What time is it?"

"Early morning. You have been asleep for nearly sixteen hours." He held out a steadying hand as she slowly scooted up in the bed. She pushed her fingers through her hair, then accepted the glass of water he held out.

"What'd I miss?"

"A mission briefing. General Hammond has postponed your report until you are in better health."

"I can't tell him much more than you already know."

"You do not know who shot you?"

She shook her head. "I didn't even know I was shot. Given how many weapons and people we had gathered in one place, it's a miracle more people weren't hurt."

He held out a small plastic bag. "I have seen some humans wishing to keep remembrances of their brushes with mortality."

She took it from him, studying it intently. "Is this…"

"Doctor Fraiser removed that projectile from you," he explained.

She held it up, twisting it in her hand to get a closer look. "Oh my god. Has the colonel seen this?"

"It was shown to him yesterday."

"Where is he?" she asked, sitting up further.

"O'Neill went home after ascertaining your condition."

"And he hasn't been back?"

Teal'c shook his head. "No. SG-1 is on downtime until you are able to return to duty." She pushed back the covers, slowly swinging her legs over the edge of the bed. "Major Carter, what are you doing?"

"I need to talk to him."

"Doctor Fraiser has not yet released you from her care."

"Teal'c. This bullet came from the colonel's gun." She held up the little bag.

"How can you be certain?"

"His gun was the only one that fires this caliber of round. He shot me."

"And that is not a fact he will accept well."

"I need to talk to him."

"Doctor Fraiser…"

"What Janet doesn't know, won't hurt her. Chances are we can get out of here and back before she even knows I'm gone." He raised his eyebrow, silently communicating his skepticism of her claim. She stood up, her hand going out to steady herself.

"You will do this with or without my aid," he said, his voice resigned.

"It'll be easier if you give me a hand."

"Very well. I shall assist you."

She smiled her thanks and accepted his proffered arm. "You in the mood to drive?" she asked.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Well, at least his truck is here," Sam said as Teal'c pulled up outside Jack's house.

"You did not believe he would be home?"

"Honestly, I wasn't sure. He could have run off to his cabin." She reached for the door handle. "Teal'c, it might be better if I did this alone."

"And if O'Neill takes exception to your presence?"

"I can call a cab. You might want to avoid Janet when you get back."

"If I instead stayed at your dwelling, I would be available to drive you home while avoiding a confrontation with Doctor Fraiser," he countered.

"Ok. You know how to get there?" He nodded. "Make yourself at home, just take it easy on the kitchen appliances," she said. She opened the door and slowly got out of the car, pausing a moment to steady herself. Her side didn't hurt as much as it had earlier, but it was still sore. As was her back and her right wrist, both body parts taking the brunt of the Ashrak's attack. Right now, all she really wanted was to go home, take a nice long bath and curl up on her couch for a few days.

And she'd do that, later. But first she needed to talk to Jack. She knew him shooting her had been an accident, a simple quirk of fate. Not like last time. Last time he did it purposefully and deliberately. Last time he did it to preserve the base, this time he had no such justification.

She heard Teal'c drive off and had a moment of worry for her car. Telling herself that if he could fly a death glider, he could certainly navigate Colorado Springs. She knocked on the front door, then peeked in the large bay window.

The interior of Jack's house was dim, and unless he was sitting in the dark, he wasn't there. Knowing where he'd be, she made her way to the back of the house, feeling herself limp a bit despite her best efforts.

Arriving at the ladder on the back of his house, she smiled grimly at the sight of the telescope peeking over the railing.

Gripping the rungs, she slowly climbed up to his homemade observatory, biting her lip a bit. He barely glanced at her as she reached the top and stood there, feeling more than a little awkward.

Realizing that he wasn't going to make it easy for her, she crossed the small platform and perched beside him. "Nice night," she said. He ignored her, turning to tap a couple of commands on his laptop and moving the telescope. "It's a little cool, although I heard it's gonna be a nice weekend." He still ignored her and she fought the urge to slap him. "You got any plans?"

"Carter, what are you doing here?"

"I was in the neighborhood."

"I thought you were in the infirmary."

"Not any more."

"Why aren't you home?"

"I wanted to give you this," she said, suddenly not having the energy to parry with him. She held out the bullet. He stared at it, making no move to take it from her. "It was an accident, a ricochet. To tell you the truth, I didn't even feel it. Adrenaline's a wonderful thing," she quipped. He still made no move to take the bullet from her. She sighed and set it down on the railing. "It's not your fault. Just a case of wrong place, wrong time." Still getting no response, she walked past him and climbed down the ladder, leaving him alone in the night.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Jack listened to her climb down the stairs, staring at the little piece of metal. Friendly fire. That was such a misnomer. There was nothing friendly about being shot. It was shocking, violent, painful…a bad way to die.

This was twice, twice in his life that something; someone important was hurt by a bullet from his gun. Twice that he'd had blood on his hands. And it was the second time in about a year that he'd nearly killed her, twice in a few months that a member of his team had landed in the infirmary, twice that an Ashrak had nearly killed Sam. Twice that she'd reached out for him…and twice that he'd rebuffed her.

Grabbing the bullet and shoving it into his pocket, he climbed down the stairs, hurrying around the house. He frowned, looking for her car. His neighborhood was quiet and he hadn't heard a car leave.

"Teal'c drove me," she said. He turned to see her sitting on his porch steps.

"Why?"

She shrugged, getting to her feet. "I didn't have my license with me."

"He doesn't have a license at all."

"If he can fly a death glider and a mother ship, he can drive a car." She walked down the steps and past him. "I'll see you in a few days."

"You're going to walk?"

"Exercise is good for you."

"Somehow I don't think Fraiser will be too happy with me if I make you walk home."

"I won't tell her if you won't."

"Especially since you're not even supposed to be here, are you?" He asked, making her stop at the end of the walk. He walked to her side, studying her closely for the first time. "You snuck out of the infirmary," he said. She looked at him, the guilt plain on her face.

"Where'd you get that idea?"

"Bed head," he said. "And, I think that's my sweat shirt you're wearing. That would also explain why Teal'c's driving your car, which I happen to know he hates to ride in, much less drive. If she'd known about it, Fraiser would have got you a driver."

"It's nothing you need to worry about. I'll just go home and get Teal'c to take me back to the base."

"No," he said, gently taking her arm. "You're gonna come back inside, I'm going to call Fraiser before she gets the SF's over here, then I'll take you back in the morning."

"Colonel…"

"Don't argue with me or I'll toss you over my shoulders," he said, rolling his eyes, Mercifully, she acquiesced and followed him back around to the unlocked back door. He led her into the darkened living room and gently pushed her down on the couch. "When was the last time you ate?" he asked, snapping on two lamps in the room.

She rolled her eyes and reached for the phone. "I'll have Teal'c hit McDonalds on the way home. He's got this thing for Big Macs." He picked up the cordless phone, pointedly shoving the small device into his shirt pocket. "Yesterday, I guess," she answered. "Look," She got to her feet. "I'm not hungry. I'll just go to bed."

He stood back as she walked past him, making her way into his spare room he used for guests. Not in the mood to fight her, he settled for securing the house and went to bed himself.

An hour later he sat up, giving up on getting any sleep. His mind worked furiously, replaying the firefight with the Ashrak. He should be used to it by now, the not so instant replay his mind provided every time he got into a situation like that, his mind's relentless effort to relive and replay events, searching for someway things could have gone better.

This time his memories weren't just of the battle, but the aftermath. Walking beside Carter's stretcher as the aides carried her home, her pale, still face rocking gently with each step. The clear plastic bag perched on top of the regulation green blanket, feeding her fluids to help keep her alive, not quite the fluids she needed, but enough to tide her over until she could get home to the SGC's blood bank.

He'd felt responsible then, always felt responsible when one of his own was hurt. That was his job. To protect his people…not to try and kill them.

He reached over, picking up the bullet from the bedside table. He opened the little zipper and tipped the piece of metal into his palm. It was cold and heavy, irregular and warped. Sorta like him and Carter. No matter what they had, they'd never have the ideal relationship. Unless reality took a hard right turn, there'd be no picket fences, 2.5 kids, SUV in the garage and cocker spaniel in the back yard. They couldn't bank on a future, because they may not have one. All they truly had was the present.

Tossing back the covers, he got out of bed and padded down the hall, pausing outside her room. The house was quiet, the closed windows muffling any street noises. He frowned, soft mutterings and the creak of bed springs reaching his ears.

Slowly easing the room open, he stepped in to the room. The curtains were open, the sheers allowing light from the streetlight to filter in. Sam was curled up in the bed, moving restlessly. Recognizing the signs, he toyed with backing out, leaving her to her dreams. Clenching his fist, he felt the bite of the metal pinching into his palm.

Crossing the room, he slipped into the bed, carefully spooning himself behind her. Keeping his voice low and even, he whispered non-sensical words, gently running his fingers through her short hair. She eventually calmed down, sighing then surprising him by snuggling close.

He should move, slip out of bed and let her think it was all a dream, if she remembered it at all. He should think about tomorrow, about how they were going to work together. Or how they were going to leave it in the room. But he didn't want to think. He didn't want to worry about tomorrow. Tomorrow didn't matter, they didn't have tomorrow. And he didn't want tomorrow, he just wanted now.

Closing his eyes, he relaxed, closing his eyes and savoring the moment.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sam slowly woke, her grumbling stomach demanding attention. She should have taken Jack up on his offer, or better yet, have not even bothered coming over. Wondering what her chances were of slipping out of the house, she paused, noticing for the first time the heavy arm wrapped around her waist.

Ok. She knew she'd went to bed alone. She definitely remembered slipping off her shoes and crawling under the covers all by herself…so how the hell had she ended up with a bedmate?

"Will you slug me if I say I told ya so," Jack's voice rumbled in her ear.

"What?"

"Food, or the lack thereof," he said, snuggling in a bit tighter.

"What are you doing here?"

"It's my house."

"I mean…"

"I know what you mean. You were dreaming."

"Oh. Sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry about. It happens. Wanna talk about it?"

She shook her head, pulling away a bit. "I should go." He resisted, keeping his arm around her waist.

"Why?"

"I…this…this is dangerous."

"This is today."

"What?"

"Right here, right now. This is today. Dangerous is tomorrow."

"What are you talking about?" she asked, pulling free from his arm and scooting away on the bed. He sighed and sat up, running his fingers through his tousled hair.

"You and I both how that tomorrow isn't guaranteed. Every time we go down into that mountain, step through that gate, hell cross the street, it could all end. We're banking on having a tomorrow. We put things off until tomorrow. We're playing Russian roulette with 'tomorrow'. Maybe we'll get it, maybe we won't. I just know that NOT getting it would be a lot more livable if we had some todays."

She stared at him, not quite believing what she was hearing. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that here, in this room, we have today. No yesterdays, no baggage, no regrets."

"What about tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow's out there. And we'll deal with it if it happens."

"And if it doesn't?"

"Then at least we'll have today," he offered.

She looked away, her mind working furiously. Could they really do it? Ignore the past, check their baggage at the door and live only for the moment? Could she do it? Leave Jolinar, Martouf, Orlin, Narim, Jonas, MAJOR Carter behind and just be Sam. Did she even remember HOW to just be herself anymore? Could she ignore the consequences and possibilities and just live for the moment? "Sam?"

"I don't know if I can," she said quietly.

"Can what?"

"I don't know if I remember how to be me anymore."

"Sam…"

"I'm not the same person you met six years ago."

"Neither am I."

She ignored him. "Not just Jolinar and the Entity, I…" She looked him in the eyes. "Six years ago, I would never have used a personal relationship to make someone do what they didn't want to do."

"What are you talking about?"

"I knew that if I asked you to take Kanan, you'd do it. Even though you hated it, hated him…I knew I could get you to do it. I manipulated you and it wasn't for the intelligence. I didn't give a damn about Kanan's Intel…" she trailed off.

"Then why?" She ignored him, her hands worrying the bed spread. "Why?" he pressed.

She closed her eyes. "I couldn't stand to bury someone else," she admitted quietly.

"It's ok…"

"No," she said, getting off the bed and standing over him. "It's not. It's all my fault, everything that happened. You getting Kanan, then Ba'al and…what he did. You went through hell because I didn't have the guts to face reality."

"Look…"

"He made her watch," she interrupted.

"What?"

"Shalin," she explained. "Ba'al would make her watch. She told us what he did. What I did. That's why I don't think this will work. I can't trust myself not to do that again."

"Do you think I didn't know, that I didn't get it? If Hammond wanted that Intel bad enough, he wouldn't have bothered with getting my permission. I was far enough gone that my consent didn't count for much."

"Janet would have fought him. I would have fought him."

"Which is exactly why he had you do it. Sam. He didn't want my consent, he wanted yours. I didn't do anything I didn't WANT to do. Yeah, the stuff with Ba'al sucked, and…I still don't like the Tok'ra. The fact of the matter is, I used Kanan as much as he used me."

"What?"

"You know why we never had a complete blending? I told him to keep his thoughts to himself; all I wanted was to be healed and to give them the Intel. That's it. I told him to stay the hell out of my mind."

"And he listened?"

"Astonishingly enough, yes. Until the council wouldn't let us go back for Shalin."

"You didn't want to go," she said.

He shook his head. "I wanted to wait. See if we could get another spy into place. Do a little recon."

"Kanan was impatient."

"Yeah. He had to go back…now," Jack said ironically.

"I'm sorry."

He snorted. "It's not your fault. I understand now."

"Understand what?"

"How it was with Jolinar." She pulled her hand free and looked away. "In the back of my mind, I'd always wondered if you could have fought her." She looked at him sharply. "There was no way hell. I couldn't stop him, no matter how hard I tried, Kanan did whatever he wanted to. Right up to the point where the little bastard bailed."

"Jack…"

"It's history," he said. "And history's yesterday. How about I go make us some breakfast," he offered, signaling the end of the topic.

"Sure," she acquiesced. "Breakfast would be good."

He got off the bed and waved her to stay. "Chill out. I'll be back in a bit. Scrambled, right?"

She nodded, settling back against the pillows. "Scrambled's good." She watched him go, idly studying the room. Could it really work?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Can you stay?" Sam looked at the other people in the room, then to the woman lying on the couch. She held her hand to her chest, silently asking 'Me?' "Please. It has been so long."

"Malek probably knows more than me," Sam said, glancing at the male Tok'ra who was finishing his notes on how to help the Pangerans.

Egeria smiled softly. "My host has told me much of the Tok'ra. But she knows little of the Tau'ri. I am curious about how Tok'ra, Tau'ri and Jaffa have come to work together. Please," she said in response to Sam's reluctant look. "I have had nothing but my own thoughts for far too long."

Sam shrugged, still clearly uncomfortable. "Sure." She sat down in a chair beside the couch. "What do you want to know?"

"If you will excuse me?" Malek said.

Egeria smiled and nodded. "Of course." She and Sam watched the man leave, a bit of an awkward silence filling the small room.

She was still lying on the couch she had been from the beginning. Both she and the host were too weak to really do much. Egeria preferred to save what remaining strength she had to insure that Malek got all the information he needed to make the antidote for the Pangerans.

"I sense that you have been blended but…I do not sense a symbiote," Egeria said, breaking the silence.

"Umm…no. I mean yes. I was blended, for a few days. She died, saving my life," Sam continued at the woman's curious look.

"What was her name?"

"Jolinar."

Egeria smiled. "I remember her. She was very young when I…left."

"Really? I mean, I didn't know she was that old. But I guess all the Tok'ra would have to be wouldn't they?"

"Most are. Some, like Kanan, are not. I was fortunate enough to have several generations of children before Ra imprisoned me."

"You know about…the host told you didn't she?"

Egeria nodded. "Yes. Kanan defected a millennia ago. That does not excuse how he acted. He…violated the most basic tenets of being a Tok'ra. I hope Colonel O'Neill knows this?"

"He does…it's complicated," Sam said to her knowing look.

"Much in life is complicated."

"He's never really liked the Tok'ra. They're too much like the goa'uld, at least to him," she said, not really knowing why she was being so open with this stranger. She felt a certain kinship, much stronger than she'd ever felt with Martouf or any of the others. And it felt good in a way, to finally have someone to talk about Jack to. No matter how much he tried to leave the past behind, she still knew Kanan had effected him more deeply than he'd ever acknowledge. And she knew there was a part of her that repulsed him. She'd seen the look in his eyes every time she used a piece of goa'uld technology, or read goa'uld. He hated the goa'uld with a passion, and he saw the Tok'ra as not much better than the goa'uld. And since so much of her life was tied to the Tok'ra, she knew there was a part of her that he'd never fully accept. His immediate assumption that Malek and Kel'ma were lying being just one example.

Egeria sighed and Sam turned her attention back to the woman on the bed. Ever since Daniel had found out her name two years ago, more than once Sam and he had pored over old texts and dusty scrolls, looking for some clue, some idea of how the Tok'ra had come into existence. What caused Egeria to apparently change her mind and start to breed children who wished to blend rather than possess?

"Many see the Tok'ra that way. And when one of them acts as Kanan did, it only reinforces that view. Tell me about Earth," she said, changing the subject.

"What?"

"I was there, many centuries ago. I always liked that planet. Please, tell me what it is like now."

Relieved to be on a safer topic, Sam relaxed a bit, trying to condense millennia of history into a few minutes.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sam sat in her lab, staring listlessly at her computer screen. She should go home, enjoy her time off. But she couldn't leave. Her mind kept wandering back to Pangar and those last minutes with Egeria. She tried to take solace in the fact that at least the creature had gotten a chance to communicate, to find out that her sacrifice had not been in vain, that her children were still trying to fulfill her dream.

She still felt pity for Egeria. Fifty years. She knew the Tok'ra looked at time differently, that fifty years really wasn't that long when your lifespan could last thousands but…she'd spent fifty years in that tank, breeding children that she knew were going to their deaths. How had she been able to stay sane? Trapped, not being seen as a person or as a sentient being, but merely a subject, an object. Something to be used then put away.

They'd have dissected her, she knew. If they hadn't made contact and discovered her identity, the Pangerans would have dissected Egeria's corpse, trying to find some way to keep making the tretonin. Maybe hoping to find a way to turn one of her children into a queen. She'd have ended up floating in a jar, an oddity for generations to come.

Memories overwhelmed her, how close she'd come to sharing Egeria's fate, being a test subject until they got tired of her and decided to dissect her. The sympathy she'd had for the creature in the beginning, pity that had turned into horror as the full ramifications of the Pangeran's tests came to light. Horror that morphed into empathy when she met Egeria, talked to her.

"Carter, I thought you'd left." She pulled herself from her dark thoughts, jumping slightly at the sound of Jack's voice. No, not Jack. They were on base. On base, he was the colonel. Jack…Jack was only in The Room.

"Oh. No I…"

He moved in closer. "I was…were you going to come over tonight?" he asked quietly.

She stopped and didn't say a word. They'd only done this once before, right before the mission to Pangar. Just like the first time, they merely hung out. Ordering Chinese and sitting on the bed in The Room. They'd talked a little, then fell asleep in each other's arms, both fully clothed, more like siblings than…whatever they were. She knew he meant well, that his invitation was sincere. But she just couldn't do it. Not tonight. Going to his place meant leaving the baggage at the door, and her emotions were too raw to do that.

"No, I don't think…"

"Why not?"

"Tonight just wouldn't be good…"

"Look, if this is about what happened on the planet…"

"No. Yes." She turned to face him. "Yes, it's about what happened on the planet."

"Are you still pissed because I'm not going to give the Tok'ra the benefit of the doubt?" he countered. "Wake up and smell the roses. Just because they've wormed their way into your blind spot, doesn't mean they're the beneficial, warm and fuzzy race they want us to think they are. Every time they're in trouble, they come to us, expecting us to bail them out. Yet if we ask them for help, what do we get? Zip, zilch, nothing. They are no better than the goa'uld."

She snapped, her temper flaring. She was sick of this, sick of defending the Tok'ra. Didn't he think she knew that they were less than perfect? Didn't he ever see her cringe when they pulled a fast one. Didn't he realize that she had to see the good in them, had to give them the benefit of the doubt, because if she didn't she'd go nuts. That seeking them out and learning about them was all that had kept her sane in the beginning. That she had to see the good in them, because if she didn't, then it meant that part of her was a monster, that her father was a monster. And she just couldn't live with that.

"No. I'm pissed because I'm tired of defending them. I'm tired of the barbs and jokes. I'm tired of feeling guilty every time they pull a fast one. I'm tired of knowing that there's a part of me that you'll never accept, that you'll always hate, always be suspicious of. I'm tired of apologizing for who I am. I'm tired of it, tired of risking my life and I'm tired of you!" She slammed the lid of her laptop down, fighting the tears that she could feel bubbling up in her chest. "Did you ever stop to think that maybe I don't want to sneak around. That out of all the classified crap that is my life I want ONE thing that I can be honest about. That maybe it'd be nice to be able to go out in public and not worry about the wrong person seeing us, or parking up the block so no one will recognize my car. Or not wanting to be alone with you to keep the rumors down." She walked to the door and opened it, paused then turned back. "Did you ever stop to think about what I want? That maybe I don't just want today, I want tomorrow too?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sam pulled the folder out of her bag and flipped through the pages, taking a quick look to make sure that her companion was still asleep.

Jonas certainly had the right idea; the easiest way to make the flight from Colorado to Nevada go faster was to sleep. She just couldn't get her mind to cooperate. Part of the problem was her last conversation with Jack. They hadn't had a mission since their return from Pangar, so avoiding each other had been easy. Probably too easy.

A part of her felt guilty; that she should be more understanding of him and all he'd been through. That she knew and shouldn't be surprised by his dislikes and that maybe she should apologize.

Another part of her steadfastly refused. He'd initiated things and he should be doing some of the giving rather than all of the taking. Never once had he asked her opinion or offered to do things her way. Never once had he actually asked her about her feelings and what she wanted to do. It was like he just assumed that what he wanted was what she wanted…end of story.

The problem was, she didn't even know what he wanted. Was it just companionship? Or was he hoping for something more? He obviously didn't want something permanent enough to talk to Hammond to try and do something about it. It didn't seem that all he wanted was sex…or if he did he was taking his sweet time about it.

There was a part of her that was sick and tired of dealing with it. Which is one reason she was actually considering what was in the folder. This certainly wasn't the first time Doctor Jacoby had offered her a job; it was part of their monthly ritual. She'd stop by to consult on some of the things they were studying, he'd jokingly offer her a job. In the past, she'd refused his offers with a smile and a wise crack. This time however, this time she'd actually asked him for some literature and honestly told him she'd think about it.

She had to admit it held a certain appeal. The hours were certainly better, as were the working conditions. Monday through Friday, 9-5, holidays and weekends off. No alien incursions, no strange viruses. No perpetual emotional turmoil.

"Sam?" No having to chaperone aliens around the planet.

"What, Jonas?" She looked up, fighting a grin at the sight of Jonas blinking sleepily across from her.

"How much longer?"

She looked at her watch. "About another half hour or so. We should start our descent into Nellis soon."

"And then?"

"Then we meet Miss Donovan and her crew at the site and give then the nickel tour." She stood up, setting the folder down beside her. "I'm going to go check in with the pilot. I'll be right back."

It took her just a couple of minutes to talk to the pilot and confirm that their meeting with the reporter was still on, which didn't surprise Sam much. The only thing that would surprise her was if the reporter had given up on her story.

She returned to find Jonas where she'd left him, leafing his way through her folder. "That's mine," she snapped, taking it from his hands. Add another thing to the list of things she wouldn't miss…a lack of privacy.

"I'm sorry…The Phoenix Foundation?" he asked as she sat down.

"They're consultants on some of the tech we bring back," she said, hoping that he'd drop it.

"I know. We send artifacts and the such to them whenever we don't have time to go through it ourselves. That's where Doctors Felger and Coombs came from."

Sam shrugged. "I was at a meeting there the other day when the reporter contacted me."

"There was mention in there of a job offer," he pressed.

Sam sighed. "Look, Jonas…"

"You're thinking of leaving the SGC?"

"I didn't say that I was…"

"That's what it looks like. Why?"

"You wouldn't understand."

"Sam…"

The plane kilted a bit and she looked out the window. "We' re landing. I would appreciate if you didn't tell anyone about this." She held up the folder. "It's my decision and I'll tell people if I think it's necessary," she said, putting as much command into her tone as she could manage. She didn't want anyone to know that she was thinking about leaving. She wanted it to be a decision she made all on her own not one influenced by guilt or remorse.

"Ok," he said, smiling. "I aah…I won't say anything…if we stop on the way back and get something to eat."

"What?"

"Someone was talking about Las Vegas and the all you can eat buffet," he suggested.

Despite herself, she grinned. "Ok. We'll take a side trip into Vegas on the way back."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sam twisted the knob, hoping that another frequency would get through. They had to know something was wrong by now. Not only had she and Jonas missed a check in, surely someone on the surface was paying attention to the readings. "Repeat…this is Major Carter. Is anyone reading this?"

"Carter, it's O'Neill. What's your status?" She couldn't help the relief that washed over her at hearing Jack's voice. So someone DID know things weren't going good. And if Jack was out there, so was Teal'c and the SGC knew something was wrong…the cavalry was here.

"I'm locked in a storage room on deck 7," she told him, wincing at how it sounded. She'd saved the planet a few dozen times and was now locked in a closet. Some warrior.

"What happened in there?"

"It was the TV crew, they had a zat," she reported. Yes, Jack, you were right. It was a bad plan.

"Major, the hijackers are demanding the release of Adrian Conrad and Colonel Simmons. We believe this is a rogue NID operation." She heard Major Davis report. Great, rogue NID, just what she needed.

"Carter, is there any chance they can get that ship off the ground?" Jack asked.

Sam stopped and thought, trying to remember the progress reports. "It's not finished, sir. It could lose structural integrity."

"Will it fly?"

"Yes, sir," she confirmed, knowing it was not the answer he'd wanted.

"Major Carter, the sub light control relay is right above you on deck eight. If you can get to it and sever the connection, that'll ground them for sure," Davis said.

"I'm locked in, I think they've over ridden the controls. Short of finding a plasma torch, there's no way out."

"How about Jonas?"

"Last I saw him was in the engine room with the camera crew."

"Ok. We have less than three hours to deliver the prisoners or they blow the ship. If we come up with something, we'll let you know," Jack said. "Hang tight, we'll see what we can do," he promised.

"Copy that," Sam said, trying to keep the disappointment and helplessness out of her voice. She turned off the transmitter and stared around the room. Ok, time for a redesign. The first thing they were going to do when they got their ship back was to put some controls on the inside of the doors.

Sliding down to the floor, she leaned her head against the wall, resigning herself to a wait.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Jack paced, fighting the urge to kick the sand with his boot. It may make him feel better, but was definitely not colonel-like behavior. Hearing a car, he turned, squinting against the glare. The SUV came to a stop and Teal'c got out, yanking Adrian Conrad out of the back seat and handing him over to the SF's. They'd been lucky in that aspect anyway, the NID hadn't moved him to a new safe house. Teal'c made his way over to the command tent. "Adrian Conrad has arrived," he announced unnecessarily.

"Did he say anything to you?" Davis asked.

"He was uncharacteristically silent for a Goa'uld. Have we received word from Major Carter?"

"No, not yet," Jack said, trying to hide his worry. He wanted to be on the radio every fifteen minutes and make sure she was ok. But he didn't dare. Not only because of the people listening in, but also to protect her. Jack knew if the hijackers knew that she had contact with the outside, they wouldn't hesitate to kill her.

"Do you believe that they will release the hostages?" Teal'c asked.

Jack snorted. "Not a chance in hell."

"Colonel?"

"Davis, they want the ship. Which is why they want Conrad." He sighed heavily. "And probably Carter. They're the only two people on this planet that can fly that thing."

"Actually, Colonel," Davis said. "The systems have been fully integrated between goa'uld and human. And it's got a rather impressive auto pilot."

Jack stopped and looked at Teal'c, seeing the same speculation on the Jaffa's face. "So…Teal'c…"

"Teal'c could probably fly it. Sir, you could fly the X-302, chances are you could handle this. We tried to make it idiot…user friendly," Davis said, bailing himself out at the last second.

"Does the facility possess a…back door?" Teal'c asked.

Davis nodded and Jack could see the figurative light bulb going on over his head. "Yeah. Just like in the SGC, there is an access hatch. It's meant to be used as an escape in case of emergency."

"Sweet," Jack said. "Where is it?"

"Umm…out there." Davis pointed behind the tent.

Jack craned his neck, frowning at the sight of sand dunes. "Out where?"

"We don't exactly mark it Colonel. It's for people to get out, not in," Davis said. "There's three escape hatches out there."

Jack sighed. Yeah, you didn't exactly put neon signs on escape hatches. "Ok. I presume you have SOME idea where they are. I need maps, I need metal detectors, people to run them and we have less than three hours to find a way in and regain control over our ship."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Sir, we're approaching deadline," the soldier said to Davis.

The major looked at his watch and sighed. He had his orders, no matter how much he didn't want to follow them. "Radio the hijackers. We're sending in the prisoners," he said, hoping to hell that Colonel O'Neill would be able to access the ship in time.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sam sat in the corner of the room, forcing herself to sit still and relax. She looked at her watch. The three hours were almost up, which was a bad thing in more ways than one. She made another mental note, they needed to hook storerooms up with the ship's main environmental system. Over the last couple of hours, she'd noticed the air growing noticeably thin. She glanced over to the radio, fighting the urge to call in and let them know.

She felt a rumble building in the deck plates and cursed, recognizing the sound of the engines powering up. Giving up on the radio, she slumped back down and closed her eyes. Deck 7 wasn't pressurized, which meant, assuming they achieved Earth orbit without breaking up, that a few inches of bulkhead was all she'd have between her and the vacuum of space… bulkhead that conducted cold. Idly she wondered if she'd asphyxiate before she froze to death…and if it really mattered.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Jack rappelled down the shaft, fighting the urge to go faster. He couldn't stop the feeling that he was rapidly running out of time. It'd taken them too long to find the escape shafts and dig through the shifting sand to gain access. He and Teal'c had decided to infiltrate the X-303 on their own, hoping that a smaller strike force would be able to remain undetected.

He heard the whine of the rope and turned to see Teal'c land beside him. The Jaffa efficiently got himself free of the rope and joined Jack at the door to the escape tunnel. "What's the best way in?"

"Assuming it is a small enough force that they have not left guards, the landing bay on the port side is unfinished. There is no outer door to impede our progress. However, if they are successful in attaining orbit and we do not achieve the protection of a sealed level, we will die," Teal'c said.

Jack shrugged. "Nothing like motivation. Let's go."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Jonas sat on the floor of the engine room looking speculatively at the two gunmen. He wished he could do something, he wanted to do something. He could see that the Prometheus had just attained orbit from the read outs he could see on the consoles. Which meant that Sam was probably dead…and they had no way to get off this ship. Even if a miracle occurred, he sincerely doubted that he could fly the ship well enough to get it back through the atmosphere and land safely.

"So that guy with the weird voice, he was an alien, wasn't he? You might as well tell me, we're probably not gonna survive this anyway," Julia said, her voice full of wry resignation.

"Oh, we've been in tighter spots," he said, trying to be optimistic, and trying to think of how many tight spots HE'D actually been in. Certainly more lately than in the past, but not as many as his teammates. The door opened and he looked up to see Simmons walk in. Wanting any advantage he could get, he got to his feet, Julia following suit.

"Ms. Donovan...I…I just had to come down here and say hello. I'm a big fan of your work."

"Terrific," she answered sarcastically.

"And you, sir, you must be Jonas Quinn, our alien friend."

"You're an alien too?" Julia asked, her eyes wide. Jonas could do nothing but roll his eyes." I don't believe this."

"Where are you taking this ship?" he asked Simmons, hoping to change the subject.

"Oh, well, you don't worry about that, all right? You just sit tight and you'll be released when everything's over."

"Do you really think it's wise to be working with a Goa'uld?"

"He's fixing the hyper drive. It's in his best interest. We'll deal with him later."

"Yeah. What about Major Carter?" Jonas asked, hoping to hear that she'd been captured and was safely on the bridge.

"Major Carter. Major Carter should have stayed with the group, but she wanted to play the hero and she got herself killed," Simmons gloated.

Jonas couldn't totally hide his dismay at the man's announcement. Fatalistically, he almost hoped that they wouldn't get rescued. Colonel O'Neill would kill him when he got back. And if he didn't, half the SGC would be lining up to take their shots. "You two behave," Simmons instructed, turning on his heel. "Unless you want to join Major Carter," he threatened, walking out the door.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Jack led Teal'c through the halls, trying to remember the schematics he'd studied on the flight to Nevada. They'd been lucky, barely making it up to deck eight before the ship had taken off. They passed a stairwell and Jack paused. "O'Neill?"

"Which storeroom was Carter in?" he asked.

"The storerooms are not included in the ship's environmental systems, and the entirety of deck seven is exposed to vacuum," Teal'c said, his voice heavy.

"What? Whose bright idea was that?" Jack asked, his heart sinking. Not included in the environmental systems? Did that really mean what he thought it meant?

"Given the SGC's habit of coming into contact with unusual substances, it was thought that cutting some of the storerooms off from the rest of the ship would help to maintain any quarantine conditions."

Jack sighed. "So there's no way to get to her?"

"Perhaps if we possessed a plasma torch, we could access the storeroom from deck eight and cut through. It would however take several hours to cut through the bulkhead."

"The faster we get this ship back, the faster we can get to her. Come on."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sam opened her eyes, watching with fascination as her breath formed a tiny haze of frost on the floor. She'd tried to move around to keep warm, but the lack of oxygen had made her too dizzy and tired to go on. Clinically she knew it had to be sub zero in the room. Her body had long since stopped to shiver and was numb. Knowing that it wouldn't be too much longer, she surrendered, closing her eyes, her last thought that Jack had been right, yesterday was the only today they would have had.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Jack followed Teal'c onto the bridge, both puzzled and alarmed at the lack of a response. Seeing nothing but two bodies, Jack checked one while Teal'c checked the other. "This one is injured, but alive," Teal'c reported, taking the pulse of a woman lying beside the command chairs.

"Toast," Jack said succinctly, feeling very little remorse as he recognized the body as Adrian Conrad. Finally, a little poetic justice. "Where are the hostages?" Teal'c asked the woman who had started to stir.

"Supply room...deck four."

Jack nodded. "Tie her up."

"Simmons," the woman muttered, blinking dazedly at Conrad's corpse.

Jack sighed. "Yeah."

Teal'c made short work restraining the woman then the two of them made their way out of the room.

A force struck Teal'c from behind, pushing him forward. Reacting without thinking, Jack spun, swinging at Simmons. The colonel pushed him against a wall, his eyes flashing, confirming what Jack had feared. Simmons slammed him against the bulkhead and Jack sank to the floor, fighting to stay conscious.

Teal'c grabbed Simmons off Jack, engaging the goa'uld in an exchange of blows. Still stunned, Jack could just watch as the two men fought, it soon becoming evident that Simmons' goa'uld enhanced strength was no match for Teal'c, when he threw the Jaffa against the bulkhead, stunning the man.

Jack watched Simmons pick up a wrench, advancing on his friend. "I'm gonna savor this moment." Jack struggled to get up, knowing that he'd never make it in time. The ship suddenly shuddered, the jolt knocking Simmons off balance.

Jack got to his feet and staggered across the corridor. His eyes still struggling to focus, he fumbled for the control panel, hoping he was pushing the right button. The airlock door opened and Jack braced himself, fighting the sudden maelstrom around him. He watched as Simmons was blown out into space then felt his heart stop as Teal'c started to slip towards the opening.

He reached out, desperately digging his fingers into Teal'c's jacket and slapping at the control panel. The airlock shut and Jack's ears popped. Fighting to breathe, he slumped down, the last of the adrenaline leaving his system. "Deck four," Teal'c reminded, his chest heaving. Jack nodded and they helped each other to his feet.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Jonas stood in the doorway to the room, watching the figures inside. Colonel O'Neill stood back a bit, watching Teal'c and Gibson wield their torches, desperately cutting through the floor.

He'd been pleasantly surprised and more than a little relieved when the two men had crashed into the supply room, liberating him and Julia.

The two men had made short work of the hijackers and the Prometheus was now back under the SGC's control. And now that they had their ship back, they were applying themselves to their other problem, freeing Sam.

Jonas could do the math. She'd been locked in the storeroom with no life support for nearly five hours.

They'd decided to cut through the floor of the room directly above the storeroom, hoping that when the heavy metal plate gave way, it didn't crush her. Assuming of course, that she was still alive.

"Colonel O'Neill?" he said, walking into the room. "We may have a problem."

"What is it?" the colonel asked, his voice distracted.

"According to Jones, we should be orbiting a planet right now."

"We're not?"

"No. It's just empty space," Jonas said, his gaze darting past Jack to the pair working on the floor.

"Which planet?"

"One that Colonel Maybourne originally wanted to explore. Evidentially when they were running the rogue operation they found a tablet describing a mother lode of weapons and technology. That's what Simmons wanted Conrad for…to translate since they couldn't exactly ask the SGC to translate.

"So?"

"Well, that's why they wanted the Prometheus. With both stargates under the SGC's control, this ship was their only way to get to this planet."

"Yeah, well, they don't have it," Jack said, jumping a bit as the torches cut through, the piece of bulkhead clanging down into the room below. Ignoring Jonas, Jack hurried forward, kneeling beside Teal'c, Jonas looking over both their shoulders. "Teal'c?"

"I do not know," the Jaffa said, reaching for a flashlight. "It is very cold." He leaned over, shining the light into the hole. "I see her."

Jonas craned his neck, his heart skipping a beat at the sight of a pale, still figure. She was curled up in a corner of the room. Her eyes were closed and she reminded Jonas of a statue in a museum, her features preserved forever.

Gibson laid a piece of cloth over the edge, then tossed a rope down into the room. O'Neill reached for it, stopping when Teal'c's hand stayed his. "The air is not good. I can withstand decreased oxygen levels for longer than you."

"Teal'c…"

"You will endanger Major Carter more if you lose consciousness and require rescue as well." Jack nodded, surrendering to Teal'c's wisdom.

Moving quickly, the Jaffa grabbed the rope, using only his strength to lower himself into the storeroom. He watched him quickly pile some crates, then gently pick up Sam, hoisting her over his shoulder. He climbed the crates, gaining enough height to that Jack and Gibson could pull Sam up. Jack carried her away a bit and laid her on the floor as Jonas balled up his jacket, placing it under Sam's head. Her skin was cold and stiff, her muscles slack. "Colonel O'Neill?"

"I am sorry, O'Neill," Teal'c said, the despair evident in his voice.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Jack sat beside the bed, unable to tear his eyes from the figure lying still on top of the covers. She was lying there so peacefully. Just like how she'd slept in The Room that first night, snuggling into his side. But there'd be no mutterings, no drool on the pillow, not this time, not ever again. He'd had nightmares about this moment more than once. He'd imagined and envisioned her dying in a hail of bullets or a burst of staff weapon fire. More than once he'd driven past a car wreck, his heart lurching a bit until he could identify that the cars involved weren't hers. He'd walked through the aftermath of a firefight, seeing her face superimposed over others. There'd been so many close calls over the years, bullets that they'd dodged so many times that he'd come to expect it. SG-1 was uncommonly lucky, some said blessed. And it looked like their luck had just run out.

He reached out and traced her features, committing them to memory. At least she hadn't suffered, he could console himself with that. It was just like going to sleep, he knew that first hand. She just curled up and went to sleep. At least her last moments hadn't been full of pain or fear. Or just pain. She had to have known. Teal'c said it was her idea to isolate the storerooms. She knew, even when she radioed them, she knew her time was limited. And she hadn't said a word. Was it because she didn't want them to know, or because she didn't think he'd care?

He'd certainly given her that idea; especially how he'd talked to her the last time they'd talked. Did she think he wouldn't care? Or maybe that he'd care too much, that he'd risk the mission just to save her.

"O'Neill," Teal'c said quietly from behind him.

"Not now," Jack said, not ready to face anyone, not just yet.

"I regret I can not honor your request. A ship has exited hyperspace in our vicinity."

"Who is it?" Jack asked.

"It is the Asgard. They wish to speak with you," Teal'c reported.

Jack closed his eyes and sighed, cursing the duty that called. "Ok." He reached out, picking up a blanket from the foot of the bed. He unfolded it, gently draping it over Sam's still form. "It was an honor," he said softly.

"Indeed, O'Neill," Teal'c said, moving to stand next to him. The Jaffa laid a comforting hand on his shoulder and Jack stood there for a few seconds, silently acknowledging the support of what was now the last two survivors of SG-1. "Thor awaits," Teal'c said quietly.

"We shouldn't keep the little guy waiting then," Jack said. "He hates it when we're late."

They made their way out of the room, Jack taking a moment to turn off the life support in the room and seal the door, protecting his second in command in death like he couldn't in life.

It only took him and Teal'c a few minutes to arrive at the bridge. Jonas was seated in one of the chairs, Julia Donovan standing behind him. Thor was in front of the main window, seated in his chair. "So you…you're…" Donovan stuttered, staring at the diminutive alien. It was a scene Jack would have found humorous, had there been another person in the room to share it with.

"We have visited Earth many times, Miss Donovan," Thor said.

"Thor," Jack interrupted, deliberately keeping his voice light. "I thought you were going with the new body." He walked over and stood by the Asgard.

"I did," Thor replied, looking around the bridge.

"How'd you know to come?" Jonas asked.

"The Asgard monitor all hyperspace activity in the vicinity of Earth. We have been tracking you since you left orbit. Is Major Carter here?"

Jack sighed quietly. "Major Carter will not be able to aid the Asgard anymore," Teal'c said, saving Jack from having to break the news to their ally.

Thor paused for a second. "That is indeed unfortunate for we have come seeking your help. The Asgard home world has been overrun by the replicators. We have need of both you and your ship."

Jack looked at his 'crew'. "Thor…you know we'd love to help but…we're a little short staffed at the moment," he said.

"We have studied the technology of the Prometheus. Members of my crew are willing to offer their assistance," Thor said. "In truth, O'Neill…you are our last hope," he said simply.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sam slowly opened her eyes, blinking to bring the silvery-gray ceiling into focus. This place didn't feel familiar, but it did fill her with a sense of déjà vu. "You are awake." She turned her head, frowning at the sight of large black eyes staring at her.

"Thor?"

"Yes."

She slowly sat up, grabbing for the sheet covering her and realizing that it was the only thing covering her. "I thought I was…" She trailed off and looked around the room, her eyes growing wide at the sight of herself lying on another table. "Thor, what's going on? Who is…"

"She is you Major Carter. Or she was you," he said, walking around the bed. "You were dead, Major Carter. We wished to revive you, however your body was significantly damaged by the cold temperatures. We tried a different way."

Sam swung her feet over the edge of the bed, struggling to warp the sheet around herself in a way to preserve her modesty while still being able to walk. She stood up, slowly walking over to the other bed, her gaze fixated on the body lying there. She could see the tell tale white patches of frostbite covering her exposed flesh, her fingers and face.

She closed her eyes, a memory wafting into her brain. The cold, her head growing light as the oxygen ran out, the knowledge that there was no way out, not this time. "I'm a clone," she said, turning to face the alien. "You…you…"

"We cloned your body, yes," Thor confirmed. "We monitor Earth and tracked your ship. Once you exited hyperspace, we made contact. In scanning your ship, we discovered your body and determined what had happened." He walked over to stand by her. "We did not know if the procedure would work, this is the first time we have attempted a transference with a non-Asgard."

Sam turned back to stare at her corpse. "They must have been desperate to give their permission."

"We did not seek their permission," Thor said.

"What?"

"As I said, we did not know if the transference would work. We felt it best to ascertain the success of the procedure before we…got their hopes up," he said, struggling a bit over the earth phrase.

"So they think I'm still dead. Which I sort of am, I guess," she said, reaching out to touch the body and recoiling at the chill of the body.

"Major Carter." A small hand touched her arm, getting her attention. "I know the idea of cloning is alien to humans, however, you are not a copy, you ARE Major Samantha Carter. The body may be a duplicate, however your consciousness is intact."

"How do you do it?" she asked.

"We take a cellular sample and replicate it. This body is exactly like that one. It is the same size, has the same color and markings. It is exact down to the cellular level. You even still have the same naquadah levels in your blood," he said.

Her hand crept unconsciously to the back of her neck. "So even though this body never had Jolinar…"

"On a cellular level, this body was once a host, even though in reality it did not serve as a host. Does this concern you? We could attempt to engineer a body without such alterations," he offered.

Sam shook her head. "You said they don't know that I'm alive."

"No. We can contact them.."

"No. No," Sam said, her mind swarming with the possibilities. She was dead…she was free. Thor could beam her body back onto the Prometheus and no one would know. Maybe she could stay on the Asgard home world or have him drop her off on a planet, even back on Earth. She could leave it all behind, the responsibility, the pain. She didn't have to fight anymore. She could settle down and live her life, without looking over her shoulder or feeling a shaft of fear when a car stayed in her rear view window too long. She could leave Samantha Carter and all her baggage behind. Or could she. Could she abandon her friends and leave with only the clothes on her back…or more accurately without even that.

"I thought you would have wished to immediately tell your friends," Thor said. "They were most…emotional about your demise."

"Do you ever get tired, Thor?" she asked, turning her back on her body and leaning against the edge of the bed.

"If you wish to rest I can provide quarters…"

"Not that. I mean…I'm tired. I'm tired of fighting, and struggling. I'm tired of having to feel ashamed about who I am or what I am. I'm tired of feeling responsible every time the Tok'ra lie to us. I'm tired of seeing the way people look at me when they realize that I'm not human anymore. I'm…I'm just tired, Thor," she said, her voice cracking.

He took her hand, leading her back to the bed. "The procedure is an exhausting one. It will take my crew some time to acclimate to the Prometheus. You should rest," he said. "There will be time enough to communicate your survival to your friends. Or to not tell them." She nodded, gratefully curling up on the bed. Newly resurrected in the bowels of an alien ship, she'd never felt more alone…or more free.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Jack walked through the halls, frowning at the complete surrealism of his situation. About fifty of Thor's friends were swarming over Prometheus, fixing various systems and doing what they could to make it as ready as possible to take on the Replicators. He knew they meant well, and that size certainly was not an issue with the aliens, but her personally felt like a warped version of Dorothy in the weirdest Wizard of Ox remake ever.

He stopped and looked out a small porthole, unable to totally contain the thrill he felt. Space. They were actually out in space. Oh, they'd been there before, just never on THEIR ship. Something they'd made, not something they'd borrowed or stolen.

An all too familiar whine and flash assaulted his senses and in an instant he'd left the Prometheus and was standing in Thor's ship. "Thor, not that I don't like you, because I do, I really do. You sort of remind me of this terrier I used to…what the hell?" He stopped, feeling like he'd just been punched in the gut, staring at the sheet-draped corpse of Sam.

"O'Neill," Thor said, coming to stand beside him.

"Thor. What are you doing? Why have you…. what's she doing here?" Jack demanded, fighting to keep his anger in check.

"Major Carter died," Thor said softly.

"Yeah. I know. That doesn't answer the question. What the hell are you doing with her?"

"As you know, the Asgard maintain their numbers by cloning. To this time, we have never attempted to clone anything but another Asgard. We would, however, like to do so with Major Carter."

"What? Why can't you just…fix her?"

Thor shook his head. "The damage is too great."

"Well then…"

"The same cold that damaged her body, preserved her mind. I am confident that her consciousness has survived and can be transferred into a new body."

"Confident…you don't know?" Jack asked,

"As I have said, we have never attempted this procedure with a non-Asgard. The only way to know if it will succeed is to attempt it."

Jack ran his hand through his hair, his mind working though the possibilities. He could get her back? Alive and whole. Thor could just take her body, make another one and put her consciousness into it? Like…putting an old hard drive in a new computer. But would it be the same? Would she still be Sam? Or just an imitation. What if it didn't work? What would they do then…heck they, he. It was his decision.

What if Thor was wrong? What if her consciousness was damaged and they were reviving a body without a brain, or with a brain so broken that she spent the rest of her life in a rest home, staring blankly at an institutional green wall.

If the worst came to pass, did he have the courage and the strength to pull the plug? "What if…"

"I have every confidence that it will succeed, O'Neill," Thor said.

Jack sighed, reaching out to stroke her hair. He didn't have a choice. He had to take the chance, he owed it to her, to Jacob…to himself. "Do it," he said quickly, spitting out the words before he could change his mind.

"Very well." Thor walked away, then turned and came back. "O'Neill? I do have a question."

Jack turned. "What?"

"Major Carter's body has been altered by her possession by a symbiote. We are capable of removing those alterations, returning her to her normal state."

Jack shook his head. "You mean, the naquadah, the protein marker…"

Thor nodded. "Yes. We have studied humans for many years. It would not be difficult to remove those alterations. Do you wish us to do so?"

What did he want him to do? What would she want? Did she want to be 'normal' again? No naquadah, nothing setting her apart. No more reason to fear the NID or idiots like Conrad. She could just be herself again. Or would she? Would she be herself, or be someone else. Over the last few years, Jolinar had become such a part of Sam that he didn't even think she knew where one ended and another began anymore. How many times over the last few years had Jolinar saved their lives? How many times had the naquadah in her blood given them an advantage? Sam had accepted Jolinar years ago, why couldn't he?

Was it because he still blamed the snake for hurting her? Did he still feel resentment towards the creature for basically raping her? She'd accepted it…but he couldn't.

Maybe that was why he didn't like the Tok'ra. They hurt his friend, and he couldn't forgive them that. He couldn't, but she had. She'd not only forgiven them, she'd accepted what Jolinar had done to her and tried her best to make the best of it.

"O'Neill?" Thor prodded.

"The naquadah…" Jack turned and knelt down, trying to look Thor in the eyes. "Would it mess up her chances of having kids?" Thor blinked. "What I mean…I don't know if she does, it's not exactly something we've talked about but…"

"The naquadah in Major Carter's blood has no impact upon her fertility," Thor said.

Jack sighed. "Ok. Leave it there, don't change anything…just…just do it."

"As you wish," Thor said. He turned and walked away, presumably going to make the arrangements.

Jack stood back up, grunting at the twinges from his knees. He turned back to the body, finding himself oddly drawn to the corpse. Doubts assailed him, doubts almost strong enough to make him turn and chase Thor down and tell him to stop, that he'd changed his mind. How did he know that she wanted to come back? What right did he have to make that decision?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sam opened her eyes, hearing familiar voices. She'd been dreaming, remembering the night before the mission to Pangar. Her and Jack sitting on the bed in The Room, eating Chinese food and laughing over the movie on the television. They'd been so relaxed, so comfortable. Just talking and relaxing. It'd been years since she'd felt that comfortable around him. She missed that. She would miss that.

It was odd, she could almost hear his voice. She sat up, looking across the room. Jack was there, talking to Thor…standing over her body. "Jack?" she whispered, cursing Thor for breaking her confidence.

"They can not hear you."

Sam looked down. "Heimdall?"

"Yes. We have erected a force field. Colonel O'Neill does not know that you are here."

Sam slid off the bed, stepping forward. "As you know, the Asgard maintain their numbers by cloning. To this time, we have never attempted to clone anything but another Asgard. We would, however, like to do so with Major Carter." She heard Thor say. What was he doing?

"What? Why can't you just…fix her?" Jack asked, frowning at the alien.

Thor shook his head. "The damage is too great."

"Well then…"

"The same cold that damaged her body, preserved her mind. I am confident that her consciousness has survived and can be transferred into a new body."

"Heimdall? What is he doing?" Sam asked.

"Repaying a debt," Heimdall said.

"What debt?"

"Confident…you don't know?" Jack asked.

"As I have said, we have never attempted this procedure with a non-Asgard. The only way to know if it will succeed is to attempt it."

Jack ran his hand through his hair. "What if…" he asked. Sam's stomach clenched at the hopeful look on his face. It was a look she'd never seen before.

"I have every confidence that it will succeed, O'Neill," Thor said.

"Do it," Jack said.

"Very well." Thor walked away, then turned and came back. "O'Neill? I do have a question."

Jack turned. "What?"

"Major Carter's body has been altered by her possession by a symbiote. We are capable of removing those alterations, returning her to her normal state."

Jack shook his head. "You mean, the naquadah, the protein marker…"

Thor nodded. "Yes. We have studied humans for many years. It would not be difficult to remove those alterations. Do you wish us to do so?"

Sam's heart lurched, suddenly desperately afraid of what she'd hear. "Heimdall…make him stop."

"Major Carter?"

She spun, turning her back to Jack and Thor. "I don't…I don't want to know."

"I thought this matter was of great concern to you?"

"You don't understand…as long as I don't know how he feels, I don't KNOW and…"

"O'Neill?" Thor she heard Teal'c prod.

"The naquadah… Would it mess up her chances of having kids?" Sam stopped pacing, slowly turning back to the tableau in front of her. "What I mean…I don't know if she does, it's not exactly something we've talked about but…"

"The naquadah in Major Carter's blood has no impact upon her fertility," Thor said.

"It doesn't?" Sam asked Heimdall.

Heimdall shook his head. "No."

"Ok. Leave it there, don't change anything…just…just do it," Jack said.

"As you wish," Thor said.

Sam watched Thor leave the room as Jack turned back, again studying her body. He hadn't said no. He had his chance to make her normal, and he hadn't taken it. Almost without realizing what she was doing, she stepped forward, barely feeling the light tingle as she passed through the force field. "Hey, Jack," she said, taking a little enjoyment out of catching him unaware. It wasn't often that she got to do that. "On your six," she prompted.

He spun, an uncommon look of amazement on his face. "Sam?" He looked from her to the body behind him. "Wow," he finally spit out. "That was a…that was…what's going on?" he demanded. "Nothing's that fast."

She shook her head. "No. Actually Thor already …cloned me." She frowned at saying the words. "He didn't want to say anything before because he didn't know if it would work," she explained.

"It looks like it did." He gestured at her.

"Yeah. I…I don't feel any different or anything. I mean, I feel like me."

"How long?" he asked abruptly.

"What?"

"How long ago?"

"Oh. A couple of hours I guess. I sorta lost my watch." She rubbed her bare wrist, wincing at how lame it sounded.

"Why didn't you let us know? We've been…I've been…why?" he asked. "Why didn't you let us know?"

She crossed her arms over her chest and looked away. "I don't know," she answered truthfully.

"You don't know? You didn't think we'd be interested in knowing that you weren't dead anymore." He walked over and grabbed her shoulders, making her look at him. "Sam? What's going on?"

"It's just…" She closed her eyes. "It was tempting," she admitted.

"Tempting?"

She sighed, then looked him in the eyes. "To not go back."

"Is that what you want?"

"I…I don't know."

"Sam?"

"I don't know!" She cried, pulling out of his grasp. She walked over and looked out the large window. "I just don't know," she said quietly.

"Sam?" He came up behind her, gently laying his hands on her shoulders. "Talk to me," he said softly.

"Do you know how tempting it is? To just go away. To not have to fight all the time. To just be me…if I can even remember who 'me' is anymore." She felt his hands leave her shoulders to be replaced by the weight of his jacket. She pulled it around her, enjoying the comforting warmth. He turned her around to look her in the eyes.

"You are you. A fantastic, funny, warm and caring woman. And I was a damn fool to let something that we have no control over make you feel like you have to run away. Of all the things the Tok'ra have screwed up over the years, you're not one of them. Jolinar is as much a part of you as Charlie is of me…and I'm sorry I ever made you feel like you had to be ashamed of it." She looked down, the relief she felt at his words washing over her. "I want you to come back…but I understand if you don't want to," he said slowly.

"You do?"

"You think I've never wanted to just get in the truck and drive. Go find some place where I don't have to be Colonel O'Neill…don't have to make decisions and give people orders that get them killed. Don't have to kill my friends."

"Why don't you?" she asked softly.

"Because I have a better reason for staying than I do leaving," he said, the look in his eyes telling her more than his words ever could.

"You don't have a problem with…this?" She gestured towards her chest.

"What you're wearing? No. no problem at all. It'd do wonders for morale around the SGC, although I doubt we'd get much work done. And it might be a little chilly in the winter…"

"Jack," she interrupted, unable to hide a grin.

"I don't care about you being a clone. In fact, I don't think anyone even needs to know. If Thor did it right, no one will know unless we tell them."

"But if we don't tell them, how will you explain me being alive?"

Jack shrugged. "We've seen the Asgard bring people back from the dead before. That's what he did to you. Which is the truth."

"O'Neill." Jack turned to see Thor standing a few feet away. "I apologize for interrupting, but we have finished our work on your ship. We must depart."

Jack nodded. "Right." He turned to Sam. "Carter? You aah…"

"Thor, where are my clothes," she interrupted.

"They were taken to be cleaned."

"Well I need them back." Sam turned to Jack and smiled. "If we're gonna kick some Replicator ass, I am not doing it dressed like a refugee from a frat party."

"See, you never answered that," Jack said as Heimdall walked into the room, carrying a green bundle of cloth.

"Answered what?" Sam asked, taking the clothes from Heimdall.

"What kind of Replicators were you dealing with. Because the ones I've seen definitely do not have asses."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Jack shut the door behind him, feeling himself slump in relief. Finally. He was finally home. He tossed his keys on the table and walked into the living room, snapping on lights as he went. He took off his coat, tossing it on the couch and snagged the remote off the coffee table. He plopped down in his armchair and turned on the TV. Seventy-Two hours. He had seventy-two hours leave time…and absolutely nothing to do. He looked at the phone, fighting the urge to pick it up and give her a call. No. He couldn't do that. He'd promised her, maybe not explicitly, but he had promised to respect her boundaries. And letting her set the pace, even deciding if they HAD a pace was part of those boundaries.

Just like not telling Hammond about her being a clone was part of those boundaries. He didn't know if it was good or bad that Jonas and Teal'c had so readily accepted their story about the Asgard simply 'fixing' Sam. He'd never thought of his teammates as being that gullible. Or maybe they weren't. Maybe Teal'c had finally figured out that there were times and places to question…and a time to just accept.

Which was what he'd finally done…accepted. Accepted that Jolinar was a vital part of Carter, that although the Tok'ra were big honkin pains in the ass, they did have their uses. And if he could accept Sara's aunt Rose, he could accept all the extra bits and pieces that came with Sam.

His stomach growled, reminding him that it had been at least six hours since he'd eaten last. Levering himself out of his chair, he snagged the phone, making his way to the kitchen and the handful of menus in the drawer. He flipped through them, looking for something that tempted his taste buds. Just as he was debating the merits of Italian or Thai…the doorbell rang.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sam walked up the walk, casting a cautious glance behind her. It was silly for her to feel so paranoid. She wasn't doing anything wrong. There was no rule saying that she could never spend time at Jack's house. No rule at all. It was only their own insecurities that had kept them at arms length. Insecurities she decided didn't matter. What was the good in holding out for tomorrow when the odds were they'd never get it?

The first time she'd nearly frozen to death, she hadn't had any regrets. This time she did. She regretted that the last words between them were words of anger, that their last memories of each other were tainted by fear and resentment.

Even if they weren't going to have a tomorrow, she didn't want yesterdays full of regrets.

She stepped up onto the stoop, juggling the bags, staring at the doorbell. Was this the right thing? What if he didn't want it anymore? What if…what if it had just been his machismo speaking? She knew Jack well, he hated to lose. And losing a team member was the bitterest defeat for him.

They'd reached a sort of truce, both working together to defeat the Replicators and then to keep her little secret. He'd seemed almost wary of her after they'd gone back to Prometheus. What if he really did have a problem with clones? He'd certainly had issues with their robot doubles that Harlan had made…he'd never truly seen them as human. Was that how he saw her? As a cheap copy.

Deciding that maybe there were some questions she really didn't want the answer to, she turned. It would be best this way, leaving well enough alone. They could work together. That would be enough for now.

The door opened. "Carter?"

She turned, cursing the timing. "Oh. Hi."

"Did you aah…Did you need something?" he asked.

"No. Umm…I'm sorry. I aah…I'll just be going." She turned ready to get back in her car and leave.

"You in the habit of ringing the bell and running?" he asked, cocking his hip.

"I didn't."

"You did."

"No. I didn't…" she protested.

He shook his head. "Whatever. What's in the bag?" He stepped off the stoop, holding out his hand.

"Umm…Valentino's lasagna and….I hit the video store," she explained.

"You were coming over?"

"It's a bad idea. Just…enjoy the food and…"

"Sam," he interrupted. "Come in and eat."

"Jack, I don't think…"

He reached out and gently placed one hand over her mouth, stilling her protest. "You still think too much. Come inside," he said, reaching down to take her hand. She returned his grasp, and followed him into the house, shutting the door behind them.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Are you done?" Heimdall asked, walking onto the bridge of the ship.

"What do you mean?" Thor asked, his attention riveted upon the screen before him. It was an aerial view, the picture dark and shadowy. Heimdall could see a figure walking up to the domicile of another.

"We have been in Earth's orbit for nearly two days. We cannot spare much longer. We need to return to Ida," Heimdall said.

"I am aware of that," Thor said, manipulating the picture so he could zoom in.

"Then why are we here?"

"I have something to do."

Heimdall studied the image. "That looks like Major Carter."

"Yes."

"Why are we concerning ourselves with the private affairs of two humans?" Heimdall asked, watching Major Carter turn and walk away from the house. Thor reached out and slid a stone across the console, sending a transmission down.

"Because I wish to," Thor answered, blinking innocently as the front door of O'Neill's house opened and the two humans began to talk. The two Asgard observed the humans talk, then enter O'Neill's house, the door closing. "Now we can go," Thor said, his thin lips twisting into a semblance of a grin. It was about time, he thought, sliding the stone across the control panel and smoothly leaving orbit.

Fin


End file.
